This is a story of a girl, Ayesha Siddiqua, who grew up in America but has great interest and depth knowledge in Islam, its history, culture and she wants to see Pakistan a true 'Madina ki Riyasat'. She also possesses motivation and views in politics of Pakistan and world. Here is her story of Hijab, what she faced during her schooling, how and why she finally adopted Hijab:
"I grew up in western culture with a vague understanding of Islam. To me, Islam was peaceful, Allah, a Merciful Creator, and hijab was modesty in one's niyat. I am a proud Muslimah and this is my Hijab story. I began wearing a hijab in third grade simply because all the Muslim girls around me were wearing them. Without understanding the meaning behind why one should wear a hijab, I abandoned it in fifth grade after getting bullied in school. Throughout middle school, my mom continuously asked me to wear hijab, and I repeatedly rejected, sometimes out-rightly, other times by stalling and promising to wear it once I enter high school. During that time, a relative advised me to wear hijab, and I rejected by saying, my intentions are pure, thus I don't need a piece of fabric to protect me. Those with impure thoughts simply shouldn't look at me if they have 'Iman' in their hearts. This truly hurt her.
Then one day in 8th grade, I was walking home after school when a couple of boys from my school bus began catcalling. Among them, 2 were Hispanic, thus I didn't understand what they were saying besides Mamacita. I ran home, locked my room, wrapped myself in a scarf and cried. At that point, I understood that even though my heart is pure, I must try to protect myself from those with disgusting intentions toward me. However, I still didn't wear the hijab, fearing I'd be bullied and might lose my friends. Through the World History class at school and my keen interest in proving that my religion is the best in debate class, I did some research to find that Islam surely is peaceful but also just. Allah is indeed merciful, but also mighty. And Hijab means physical modesty as well. At the end of 8th grade, I became very vocal about atrocities being committed against Muslims across the globe along with showing disgust towards the LGBT fad followers to which my friends didn't respond appreciatively. They were taken aback, giving me the strength to accept myself.
Ramadan began and let me tell you it was one of the scorching hot summer Ramadans I've lived through, a perfect time for me to begin wearing the hijab. Yes, I did lose my friends, and it hurt not that I've lost them, but that I was friends with fakes. High school began and once a popular outspoken girl, I became shy and a mere shadow, a simple nobody, a social outcast. Many came up to me to say how good I looked without my hijab and that they miss my hair to which my only response was, I like it this way. I don't know what it is, but my hijab empowers me to speak on issues that matter, that I care about without being afraid of others' reaction or their hate. It strengthens me to hold fast to my religion & stand up for it against its vile enemies."
She says, "Hijab gives me an identity of a Muslimah!"
Regards,
Ayesha Siddiqua
The purpose of this post was to share her journey of finally accepting who she is. Yes, she may not have fake friends now, but she has a true purpose, an individual voice that she tried hiding for years behind highlight and fancy hairstyles. And honestly, this life is way better according to her. :)
